Sunday, December 9, 2012

{keys to a successful recovery: acceptance}

"Acceptance is the number one key to recovery."

It's taken me a long ass time to finally know the meaning of that statement. I could never wrap my head around how I was supposed to accept myself when I absolutely hated everything about myself. 

You gotta accept your body. But I can't because I'm fat. I can't because I'm not as thin as that other girl. I can't because I hate my shoulders, arms, legs, etc. 

You gotta accept that you're quiet. But I can't because no one likes me. I can't because I don't have any friends. I can't because everyone thinks I'm rude, selfish, a snob, etc. 

You gotta accept who you are. But I can't because I hate myself. I can't because I'm not good enough. I can't because no one loves me. 

Those were thoughts I used to have, but not so much anymore. 

Learning to accept things has been my savior when it comes to recovering. Without accepting certain things I would still be fighting against them and getting no where. 

Some things I have had to accept throughout my recovery:

-It's going to take time
-There's no way to shrink my hip bones
-I can't change the way my thumbs look
-...Or my nose, hair, eyes, etc. 
-There's no way to change the shape of my knees
-I will never be really tan
-My legs ARE in fact beautiful
-Women have fat and curves
-I can't compare myself to Ben because men are not the same as women
-Fat is needed for health 
-Cellulite is natural and not a flaw
-My wanting to be thin is a cover up for my other problems
-Being strong means being healthy and at a healthy weight
-My body is smarter than me
-I have to eat to live
-Fats won't make me fat
-Everyone is different and has their own issues

And I could think of a lot more, but I'll save your time and stop there. 

Some of these things still need constant reminding on my part but I can confidently say that I have accepted that these issues will be with me and that I can't change them. Take cellulite for example, we all hate the fact that we have it but it's kind of inevitable. You can't make cellulite go away forever because it's part of our genetic make up. Our bodies were made to have it so why try to fight it? I've learned (and am still learning) that by getting depressed about my cellulite will only make things worse. What if I accepted it and learned to love it? What would happen then? I would probably be much happier that's for sure. 

And that's the process I go through when accepting things. How would I be better off by not trying to force change when I can't? I'd be happier and that's the ultimate goal so it's a win win. 

Accept the things you can't change and happiness will come. 

Accept who you are and you'll be free.

No, it's not easy and it didn't happen overnight, but something inside you will break and you'll get it and you'll let go. 

Being able to accept certain things, even if they don't have to do with the eating disorder will create freedom in your life and thus you will be free. 


  1. This is absolutely beautiful, love. Thank you for writing these words. You read my mind in so many ways, it's kind of crazy. And that quiet thing...I've been called all those things and've given me a lot to think about, hun. Thank you for that.

  2. I stumbled onto your blog from another blogger I follow. Thank you for posting this. I really needed to read it and I'm hoping to deal with this issue of acceptance. I wish it wasn't such a difficult thing to overcome. Ugh. One day at a time.

  3. Hi, Tayla! I just found your blog and am so glad that I did. This post has a great message and everything you said is absolutely true. Trying to change things that cannot be changed only creates anxiety and distress. I am also working on accepting certain things in my recovery. It's certainly not easy, but I am confident we can do it.